My name is Lion.  I am an American Curl Cat, a delicious shade of marmalade and even though I say it myself, quite street savvy.

However, I forgot to look both ways on a dark night recently, managing to collide with a big tin box and ended up feeling strange, my mouth wouldnt work properly and my meow was all over the place.

I struggled to get back home and the monkeys who think the own me started to get all hysterical about the red stuff leaking everywhere.  To make matters worse they put me in a box and ferried me off to another monkey who they called Mark.  He seems to run a prison called 'the vets' which is full of cages with bars.

In the monkeys defence he did make me feel a bit more comfortable but I heard him say at some point later (nothing wrong with my ears) that he had stopped the bleeding from the liver laceration, settled into the concussion and fitted a pharyngostomy tube to feed me while I healed.

I also heard that I had a comminuted fracture of the jaw which he sorted out with a long operation.

The cage with bars was most annoying.  I was full of tubes: the monkeys kept poking, looking and chattering amongst themselves.  I was fed up with a very sore mouth and decided not to eat.  I knew it was only a matter of time before my monkey owners would appear.  I also had decided with much swearing I would swat monkey Mark when the cage door was opened.......

Sure enough my 'owners' appeared with prawns and salamon.  True to my word I got in a really good left hook directed at vet boy.

Apparently I have to go back in a month to remove the 'external fixator'.

Just you wait monkey Mark...... four weeks to get to my fighting weight and paws at the ready.

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